Five Gifts Tony Gave - and One He Didn't
by ytteb
Summary: As Tony departs he leaves gifts for his team. That's kind of him, isn't it? Whole team involved. Crackish one shot
The last hug had been hugged, the last manly handshake had been made and the last head slap delivered. The light in the squad room seemed a little dimmer and the background noise had diminished to a hum. Gibbs and his team had watched Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo get into the elevator for the last time and Timothy McGee's keyboard was finally safe from superglue incursions. It was the end of an era. A collective sigh was heaved.

Silence reigned for approximately 14 seconds before Palmer suggested tentatively,

"We could open our presents …"

Abby looked at him reproachfully. Her first instinct was to insist on a longer period of mourning but then she caught sight of the packages waiting on Tony's former desk and realised she couldn't wait any longer.

"Yes, yes, yes!" she squealed as she managed to jump in the air and clap her hands at the same time. "Can we, can we, can we?" she asked turning to Gibbs.

"Yes, yes, yes," he said indulgently.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said.

"Abs?" said Tim.

"Yes, yes, yes?" she replied excitedly.

"Less of the triplicate," Tim suggested.

"But, but …" she began before recognising that talking in triplicate would delay the present opening. "Of course," she said in a gentler tone. "But I'm going first."

Palmer took up the position of box deliverer and handed her a box decorated with pink skull and crossbones.

"What is it, what is it … sorry," said Abby as she realised that she was tripling up again, "Ooh …" she pulled back the tissue paper to reveal an Abby doll dressed in a lab coat, wearing huge black boots and holding a miniature Bert the Hippo. She felt in the box and drew out a matching Tony doll wearing a smart suit and Italian loafers. "And there's more clothes Inside," said Abby as she held up an OSU tracksuit and a pair of jeans and a sweater. "That's so _cool_! I've always wanted to undress Tony and now I can."

Tim looked at her askance but then decided that they had all moved on and he didn't need to feel jealous now. Abby smiled happily and put Abbydoll and Tonydoll into an embrace.

"Who's next?" she asked.

"This is for you, Dr Mallard," said Jimmy courteously as he handed a large flat box to his mentor.

"Thank you, Mr Palmer. How exciting! I wonder what Anthony will have purchased for me."

"One way to find out, Duck," said Gibbs sardonically as he took a gulp of coffee.

"Quite right, Jethro," approved Ducky, "we are surely past the age when we need to prolong the expectation surrounding a gift. Indeed, at my age, it is probably best not to prolong anything. I well remember a friend who …"

"Ducky!" shouted everyone in unison.

Ducky smiled and proceeded to lift the lid on the box.

"Oh my," he said, "this is rather fine." He lifted up a pale blue sweater with a complicated Arran design. He held it against him,

"It's beautiful," sighed Abby.

"It's the colour of your eyes," said Ellie.

"It's so soft," said Jimmy admiringly as he touched it reverently.

Ducky gazed at McGee and Gibbs but they seemed reluctant to join in the praise.

"Yes, what they said," said McGee.

Gibbs shrugged; his vocabulary was limited when it came to clothing.

"It's cashmere," said Ducky, "made in Scotland. What a wonderful gift. You know, this colour reminds me of the colour of the sky over the loch near where I was born. When the sun was in a particular position and the sky was clear. It brings back happy memories of the old country. Why …"

"Me next," said Jimmy excitedly as he cut into what threatened to be a prolonged ramble from Ducky.

Jimmy shook his box but didn't allow any time for any guesses to be made before opening it to reveal an envelope and a pair of black and white leather soled shoes. He thrust the shoes towards McGee and then ripped open the envelope.

"Oh," he breathed as he read the contents, "Oh. This is so cool. This is so wonderful. I don't know what to say …"

"Why you don't you say what Anthony has given you," said Ducky, "apart from those rather … flashy … shoes?"

"Oh. Of course, Doctor, yes. It's just that I'm so excited …"

"Palmer!" bellowed Gibbs as he realised his coffee mug was nearly empty.

Palmer swallowed, rubbed the sweaty palms of his hands down his pant legs and recovered his composure,

"These are Salsa shoes. And this voucher," he paused as he swallowed down his excitement, "is for years of father and daughter tots/toddlers/kiddies/pre-teens and teenage Salsa classes. Victoria and I will be able to bond on the dance floor. I can't believe that Tony thought of it. This could be integral to how our relationship will grow, the father/daughter bond. I will always think of Tony when I put the shoes on." He wiped his eyes while his co-workers tactfully looked away.

Tim coughed and, taking over Jimmy's duties, passed a small box to Ellie. Jimmy waved his hand in apology for being too overcome to continue.

"Oh," said Bishop in a slightly disappointed voice, "it's a muffin. Salted caramel and peanut butter." The others tried to think of something encouraging to say,

"It sounds most appetising," said Ducky with his fingers crossed.

"You'll be able to food associate," said Abby optimistically.

"At least nobody will want to steal it," said Jimmy tactlessly. Tim glared at him for bringing up memories of muffin theft.

Ellie smiled bravely. Uncharacteristically it was Gibbs who found the right words,

"You dropped something," he said pointing to an envelope at her feet.

Ellie swooped down and picked it up.

"Oh," she breathed, "it's a certificate! Nuffinbutmuffins will deliver me a muffin of my choice every day for a year!"

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as another perfect gift was revealed. Palmer had recovered enough to deliver the next parcel to Tim. His teammates clustered round as he opened the lid of the box to reveal a large doll.

"That's not a Tim doll, is it?" asked Jimmy doubtfully as he remembered Abby's gift.

Tim scowled at him and picked up the card that was lying on the doll's chest. His expression cleared as he read it and then he laughed,

" _Dear Mcnewseniorfieldagent,"_ he read aloud _, "My last gift to you. This is a Dancing-Daisy-Donut-Doll. You remember when I looked in Delores Bromstead's personnel file and found out about the Kneehigh-Cherry pie doll? Well, I looked again and it turns out that that the following year her heart was set on a Dancing-Daisy-Donut-Doll but she didn't get one. Make sure you end up as Delores' Secret Santa this year and she'll be your friend for life. You're welcome!"_

The MCRT broke out into spontaneous applause and then looked with anticipation as Jimmy handed Gibbs the last box. Gibbs rolled his eyes and gave a half smile: it was reminiscent of his expression whenever he looked at Tony. He whipped a knife out so quickly that no-one could tell where it had been hidden and used it to tear the wrapping paper off.

He lifted the lid and, as before, everyone craned forward to see what was inside. Gibbs eagerly thrust his hand into the box and felt among a mass of shredded paper. The anticipation built as he continued to search through the box. After a few seconds he grunted in frustration and tipped the contents of the box onto his desk. Still nothing.

The rest of the team looked at one another doubtfully and after a moment or two gathered their gifts and silently backed away. They had gone a few paces when they jumped,

"NOOOO!" roared Gibbs, "He promised!"

NCISNCIS

"So, Leon," said Secretary Sarah Porter as she sat in the Director's office, "what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

Director Vance adjusted his tie and said, "I invited Dr Mallard to join us. I think he will be better qualified to give you an update."

"Dr Mallard," smiled Sarah, "please. Do continue."

"It is most unexpected," said Ducky, "and it has overtones of Greek tragedy. Although I cannot call to mind which one it most reminds me of."

"Yes?" said Sarah patiently.

"You are aware, of course, Madam Secretary," said Ducky, "that Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo recently left Jethro's team?"

Sarah nodded.

"Anthony and Jethro had worked closely for many years. So perhaps we should not have been surprised. And yet …"

"And yet?" prompted Sarah.

"And yet it seems rather out of character," continued Ducky.

"What does?" asked the Secretary of the Navy as she glanced at her watch.

"His departure seems to have caused Jethro to have become … unhinged," said Ducky with unexpected brevity.

"Unhinged?" echoed Sarah.

"I fear so," said Duck sadly.

"It seems to have been triggered by the gifts that Agent DiNozzo left for his co-workers," said Vance.

"Indeed," said Ducky, "Anthony had left us all the most thoughtful of presents. Mine was a rather fine Arran sweater. Regretfully it is not something I can wear to work as I have never fully embraced the idea of 'dress down' at work and indeed, I would not wish accidentally to stain it with one of the multitude of bodily fluids which I encounter in my work … er … where was I?"

"Telling me about the gifts which Special Agent DiNozzo left," said Sarah kindly.

"Indeed. I was. Yes, the gifts were all wonderfully apt except when it came to Jethro's."

"He didn't like his present?" asked Sarah, somehow feeling that Gibbs was unlikely to care about a gift.

"In a manner of speaking," said Ducky regretfully, "you see _his_ gift box was empty."

"Not quite empty," said Leon.

"No, you are quite right, Director," said Ducky, "it was full of shredded paper. The sort of paper you would normally expect to be protection for some valuable object."

"But there was no valuable object?" said Sarah.

"There was no object at all," said Ducky, "and I can assure you that Jethro searched most diligently.

"Was it a mistake?" asked Sarah. "Had the gift been mislaid in some way?"

"We don't know," said Vance, "as you know, we are unable to contact DiNozzo. The nature of his assignment means that the deepest of cover is essential."

"Ah," said Sarah, "yes, of course. I understand."

"Once Jethro was convinced the box only contained the paper," continued Ducky, "he carefully placed it all back in the box and took it home."

"He didn't come back for two days," resumed Vance.

"And when he did come back," began Ducky …

"I had to take a firm stand," said Vance.

"Why?" asked Sarah.

"He tried to get Ms Scuito to piece together the paper. He insisted there must be some sort of message written on it."

"And the dear girl did try," said Ducky fairly, "but she had to tell him that the paper was from a variety of sources and had probably been shredded some time ago. She could find no evidence that it had ever been written on. The Director had to take her off the task of assembly as it was causing a backlog of work in her lab."

"Oh dear," said Sarah, "and how did Agent Gibbs react to that?"

"I had to take away his security access," said Vance.

"Why?" asked Sarah.

"He kept on putting out BOLOs on DiNozzo and he got on to Interpol trying to issue an international arrest warrant on him," sighed the Director.

"I recommended to the Director that Jethro be placed on sick leave," said Ducky, "for everyone's sake. He was very disruptive."

"He didn't want to go," remembered Vance, "but Dr Mallard and I eventually prevailed on him to go home."

"I visited him that night," said Ducky, "it was quite distressing."

"Doctor?" asked Sarah.

"He was pacing up and down in his cellar. Tapping on the walls. Banging on the floor. Hitting the ceiling with a broom handle. And all the while moaning, ' _he promised, he promised.'_

"And what is your diagnosis?" asked Sarah feeling a little shaken at the news of Gibbs' collapse.

"I fear he has developed some sort of monomania," said Ducky, "I can only surmise that Anthony's departure has triggered some sort of collapse. His bond with Anthony must have been deeper and closer than we ever imagined."

"And what is the likelihood of a recovery?" asked the Secretary.

"I don't know," said Ducky, "it is something completely outside my experience. We are consulting with some of the leaders in the field of psychiatric medicine but so far they seem baffled. It doesn't help that we are unable to persuade Jethro to leave the confines of his basement. I can only conjecture that he has developed a form of agoraphobia to go alongside his monomania."

"We will just have to make sure that he gets the best possible care," said Sarah getting to her feet to signal an end to the conversation.

"Indeed," said Ducky sadly, "if only Anthony knew the effect of what must have been a moment of carelessness in forgetting to put Jethro's gift in the box. Ah well …"

NCISNCIS

Meanwhile, on a remote Caribbean island, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo took a sip of his rum punch as he lay on a sun lounger under a palm tree and considered whether or not to go for another swim. The cool air of DC seemed a world away and he gave thanks once more for the joint operation between NCIS, FBI and CIA which had sent him so far undercover.

He wondered how long it would be before the agencies discovered that they had each given Tony a separate identity and had each, mysteriously, lost track of those identities. Tony thought he probably had several years of living under each false name while 'carrying out his undercover work'. He would surface when he reached retirement age, report 'regretfully' that his time away had been fruitless and collect his back pay. Tony thought that interagency rivalry would prevent anyone admitting to a mistake let alone investigating anything. No, Tony had many happy and idle years ahead.

And if he got bored … well, there was some readymade entertainment at hand. Tony smiled. To be truthful, it wasn't a nice smile. He picked up his tablet from under the sun lounger and switched it on. As a picture came into focus Tony mused that paying the extra for long-life batteries in the security camera in Gibbs' basement had been a worthwhile investment.

Gibbs was sitting on the floor of his basement trying to piece together the paper from his gift box. The camera didn't pick up sound but Tony knew what Gibbs was muttering, " _He promised, he promised."_

Tony knew that people underestimated him. And perhaps Gibbs most of all. Gibbs had been astonished when he finally returned from Mexico to find that his boat was no longer in the basement. At first he had accused Tony of destroying it and so had been amazed when Tony took him to a nearby marina and showed him his boat neatly moored there.

Tony had refused to tell Gibbs how he had got the boat out of the basement despite a multitude of head slaps but had undertaken to remove all future boats from the basement. And so it had proved. Gibbs had continued to build boats. Tony had continued to take them out of the basement and on to the water and had smiled as he did so.

As the years went by, however, Gibbs began to forget what he owed Tony and to take him for granted. Tony had continued to smile and had encouraged Gibbs to build bigger and bigger boats. And then, just as Gibbs had nearly finished building a boat which practically filled the basement, Tony made his announcement. He was going undercover for a prolonged assignment. Suddenly Gibbs realised how much he depended on Tony. Tony had smiled again although he thought that Gibbs should have learned to distrust that smile by now and promised that before he left he would divulge the boat extraction secret.

Somehow, in the excitement leading up to his departure, Tony had 'forgotten' to write down the promised details. Tony smiled again as he enlarged the pictures from the basement. Gibbs was lying on the floor, tapping and listening for echoes. Tony wasn't sure but it almost looked as if he was crying.

Tony raised his glass, "Semper Fi, _Boss_!"

He smiled again. Somehow the temperature seemed to drop …

* * *

 _AN: I've always wanted to write a 'five times' story and now I have – sort of! I like writing devious Tony but he's not mine. And I don't even have a Tony doll like I gave Abby. The characters aren't mine and, apart from giving Gibbs some sort of mental collapse, they are safely back in their boxes._


End file.
